STAR CHART

I AM

I am alone
I am afraid
I am angry
I am tired
I am lonely
I am afraid
I cannot see
Far
I am alone
I am scared
I am sad
I am afraid
I am lonely
I can’t stand it
I want to die
I want to die
I want to die.

I need.
I want to live
I want to be alive
I need to die.
I must keep dying.

“I am Meia. I am a whole person. I am a whole woman. I am peace. I am tranquility and serenity.

I have fully integrated myself. I am one. I am in unity. I have fully accepted my past, my present, my future. I accept my pain. I accept my joy. I accept and give love. I am sure of myself and happy. I am confident and ambitious. I am OK. I will be OK. I rely on Jehovah. I am cared for, and trust that I always will be. I am proud of myself. I love myself.”

It’s so sad to see me that way. Broken up into pieces - the serene, powerful fairy princess, the silly bat, the evil, large-breasted mistress of darkness, and the crying little girl, lost and confused, and terrified of all the others. No one to comfort her. All alone.

I’m so far away
Can I get back
Wish I could travel
Over Middle Earth
Away from the NOW
Away from the ones I know
And love
And see the downs
And feel the mist
And know the elves
And have the rivers of the
Grey Earth flowing through my blood.
I want to be far away
From this place
This time
This life.
I am the Warrior Princess
Who steals away;
For the cry of the battle is in my
Fierce heart.
I am the gentle, radiating Elven queen
Graciously shining magical light
Upon those who love me.
I am part of the travelling party
Rugged and ragged from miles of wear,
Trudging through the eerie forests,
Over looming mountains,
Through labyrinthine caves,
Crossing through the desolate, bare lands
Of a simpler time
Amid the rain and sore spirits and mud
Despite weary bones and sharp hunger
In spite of piercing, bitter winds
I go on -
And we go on together.
And the seasons pass and we still go on
Undaunted
For there is nothing that will distract us
From our oath
We are driven
We are passionate
We are right.