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Mostly Art and Drivel


The Death of an Actor - a poem

Filed under: Poems — meia on Tuesday, April 18, 2000 @ 9:48 pm

THE DEATH OF AN ACTOR

I need a little bit more
How the masses tremble
If only they knew
How long would I laugh?
There he crumpled
Congested and cramped
Alone, bundled in the wet gutter
Blocking the drains
Flooding the streets
His skin pale and full of rainwater
Up to his bleary blue eyes
No one knew he was an actor -
No one dared to notice
The man at the corner table at the corner cafe
Every day at half past noon
Ordering the same sandwich and coffee
From the same waitress in the same dress.
He wore the same faded trenchcoat
And smoked the same brand of cigarettes
And thousands of the same people passed by
Every day
And never knew who he was
Or what he cared about
Or where he was going
Or where he came from
Until one day
The same waitress in the same dress
On her way to the same restaurant
At five thirty a.m.
Saw this crumpled man like a soggy paper bag
Wrinkled and soaked through in the gutter.
She shouted and called the police
And cringed when she saw his face
But couldn’t discern why he seemed
So vaguely familiar.
No one knew until they read the headlines,
All the same people who ignored him every day,
That he had been an actor.

“Anger Hidden Underneath”

Filed under: General — meia on Saturday, April 15, 2000 @ 2:07 am

What’s going on here?

Anger: I’m taking over everything. I’m finally seeping out over everything. I will neutralize you. I’m pushing the fear in too, squashing everything in the center.

Meia: But that’s not what anger really does.

A: How do you know? You don’t know anything about me. You belong to me now, so just surrender to my whims. It’s useless to resist.

M: But there are other things I can do that can set you free without you taking over my body like toxic waste.

A: Oh yeah? Like what?

M: You tell me. How would you like to be set free?

A: Well, I’d like to go OUTWARD instead of staying in. You need to let me OUT.

M: How do I let you out safely and gently, so you don’t hurt anyone or me?

A: I’m not a thinker. I’m a feeler. I’ll do what I want to do, and you can’t control me.

M: But I can, with Jehovah’s help. I will. I just don’t know how yet.

A: Don’t threaten me! I’ll do as I please.

M: I dont want to destroy you, and I won’t. Your health is necessary to mine. But I need to help you become more gentle and safe, somehow.

A: I don’t think you can do it. I’m stronger than you; I’m a mystery, so I have the advantage.

M: Hmm. We’ll see. You won’t have the last laugh. I’ll tame you yet, with Jehovah’s help and Holy Spirit. You’re right, I can’t do it. Only Jehovah can. Someday we’ll be friends and will get along and understand each other.

SLEEZE - a poem in response to SCHMOOZE

Filed under: Poems — meia on Saturday, April 8, 2000 @ 2:45 am

SLEEZE
in response to “Schmooze” by Alyssa Earl

I often feel so sexy
That my spells get kind of hexy
My speech is slurred with booze
And this is the life I choose
You will soon be sure I’m vexy
You will be sure when you hear the news

When you hear that I have died
And the vomit on me dried
But don’t worry about me
Just bury me by the tree
Just know I always tried
To live a life too free.

SCHMOOZE- a poem by Alyssa Earl

Filed under: General — meia on @ 2:39 am

SCHMOOZE
by Alyssa Earl

I often feel so lazy
That my thoughts get kind of hazy
My speech becomes like bees
Floating round and through the trees
You will soon be sure I’m crazy
You’ll convince yourself with ease

You may often wonder why
That my mind floats round the sky
But please don’t worry dear
We are in no hurry here
As the clouds drift happily by
Pointless boundaries we’ll defy.

Help - a poem

Filed under: Poems — meia on Tuesday, April 4, 2000 @ 10:43 pm

HELP

The day is long and I am done
Oh can’t you see where I came from?
I’ve plowed through fields
I’ve trudged through storms
I’ve built fallen towers
I’ve bitten off thorns
I’ve cried in the night
I’ve screamed at the moon
I could spend days in my bed,
Close the door to my room.
I’ve always seemed right
I’ve followed the rules
They want me for a hero
And I’ve proven them fools
I need their care
I need their love
I need their arms
And comfort from above.
“Don’t abandon me now,”
I cry, to you all
If I don’t have your help
I know I shall fall.

Self Inventory

Filed under: General — meia on Saturday, April 1, 2000 @ 12:28 pm


MY SKILLS AND TALENTS

I am an artist, I can draw anything. I can paint. I am a good writer. I write really good poetry and short stories. I have a way with words. I’m a really good photographer. I’m really good at makeup. I’m an excellent listener. I can make almost anyone feel comfortable to be themselves. I have a good ear for music. I have a deep appreciation for beauty, and can create beauty whereever I want to.

MY AREAS OF KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE

I know a lot about outer space and astronomy. I know a lot about music and can easily identify songs. I’m pretty precise in English.

My Philosophy of Life

Filed under: General — meia on @ 11:28 am

I believe in healing. I believe in Jehovah. I believe that soon the Earth will be a Paradise and the pains and aches and hurts and sorrows of our lives will be healed, then forgotten. Then we can spend forever serving Jehovah how he deserves to be served - as perfect, happy people.

Until then, we have to do the best we can. It’s important for everyone to learn to love themselves. It’s important for people to discover and directly deal with their agonies and abuses they’ve suffered as children and continue to suffer as adults. It’s important for everyone to see and recognize how and why people need to heal, and it would be ideal if people were allowed to take as much time off life as necessary until they feel they’ve dealt well enough with their feelings and have healed. It would be ideal if everyone felt as free to express their feelings as children do. They could cry and cry out loud when they were full of sorrow or anger - as long as they didn’t hurt anyone. People could express love for one another without it becoming a sexual thing. It would be really wonderful if no one hurt, abused, or criticized anyone, so they would never feel embarrassed or ashamed of themselves or constrained or stifled.

Children should be made to feel unconditionally loved, like the most important people in the world. Affection should be freely displayed by everyone and it should not become improper or indecent.

Love should be openly expressed in words, and all feelings should be validated and brought into the open under always-safe circumstances.

When people make mistakes, they should accept blame and responsibility, but not to put themselves down, never to feel bad or evil, but always willing to give themselves another chance, always forgiving themselves and trying again and again. And that should be good for everyone else. No one should ever pressure anyone else.

Life should be easier. Work should be less important to everyone than family. There should be siestas in the afternoon and everyone should stop for hours to eat and enjoy one another’s company and take a nap. Life should be calm and undemanding. Things shouldn’t have to be so punctual. Nudity should be optional. If that were the case, no one would think about it.

All humans are meant to feel more like children.

Beliefs That Can Change

Filed under: General — meia on @ 12:01 am

OLD BELIEF
NEW BELIEF

It’s hard for me to believe in myself
I can do anything.

I doubt myself a lot
I am confident in myself.

I don’t feel good enough
I’m a really worthy person.

I’m a bad pioneer
I’m really good in the ministry

I’m a bad singer
I enjoy my singing

I’m a dreamer
I’m realistic yet hopeful

I let people walk all over me
No one gets away with taking advantage of me

I’m awkward with kids
Kids love me

I’m bad at sports
I love sports; I’m really athletic

I’m frightened of most everything
I’m brave, strong, and courageous.

I’m lonely
My emotional needs are fulfilled by others

I’m sad
It’s OK to be sad sometimes.

Beliefs about myself and where they came from

Filed under: General — meia on @ 12:00 am

I am imaginative
Meia
I am pretty
Mom
I am kind, loving, gentle
Meia
I am a good listener
Meia
I am a good friend
Meia
I am affectionate
Mom
It’s hard for me to believe in myself
Meia
I doubt myself a lot
Meia
I am an artist
Amy, Wayne
I don’t feel good enough
Meia
I’m a bad pioneer
Meia, Lydia, Patty Q
I’m a bad singer
Mom, Esther, Aubrey
I’m a dreamer
Everyone else
I’m independent
Mom & Dad
I’m lonely
Meia
I let people walk all over me
Meia
I’m sad
Meia
I’m shy and quiet
Meia
I’m a good reader
Austin, Wayne
I’m smart
Mom
I have a lot of friends
Meia
I’m childlike
Meia
I’m mature for my age
Meia, Wayne
I’m awkward with kids
Meia
I’m a good cook
Meia, mom, dad, Austin, Wayne
I’m bad at sports
Meia
I’m easily amused
Others
I’m very caring and understanding and accepting
All my friends
I’ve got rhythm
Meia
I’m frightened of most everything
Meia
I can be silly and crazy
Meia
I’m very creative
Meia
I hate telephones and television
Meia
I’m very good at helping people I love
The people I love, Meia
I’m a good masseuse
Massagees
I’m a natural healer
Donielle, Wayne
I’m charming, sometimes
meia

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