STAR CHART

Yeah, Sean is definitely an ENTP. Totally. All the way. LOL I love ENTPs. He’s really cool. He’s totally nice and understanding.

He told me that I was really good at everything…I stress all the time about being behind and stuff and he says I do a great job. It’s crazy how different perceptions can be. I mean, I make a mistake and I could kill myself for it. But he just sees all the good…what did I do to deserve that? (I know, I know.)

He did ask me to try to limit my surfing to breaks and lunch though. That’s going to be really tough, but I’ll do my best. I told him a lot of my problems, though…he asked me about my goals and where I wanted to be in the future and I told him just recently I was learning how to live for myself so I don’t really know yet. I guess there’s also a problem with my sick days…I’ve used them all up and then some! Sean said that every month I acrue a half a sick day. :p That really sucks. Uck. I guess what that means is that I’ll have to be proactive and concentrate on trying to get more sleep…that seems to cure me of everything.

Basically, they all think I’m great and that I contribute a lot. Lots of people love me. (He said people talk to him about appreciating me all the time…that I’ve become much friendlier within the past year or so. Coincidentally, that coincides with when I first started seeing a counselor. :)) Anyway. In the end he asked me what he needed to work on or do for me…I thought about it a long time, and you know what I said?? I asked him to compliment me more on my job and that I needed more positive feedback. Wow, just writing that makes my eyes brim with tears. I am so damn hard on myself. The act of asking someone else for the thing I deny myself most often goes against my every grain…yet I know I need it.

He said he’d do it. I told him I needed it because I lose my focus and start to think I do really badly, and then when he compliments me I’m always really surprised. If I feel good about what I’m doing, I’ll have more confidence and staying on task will be easier. He apologized about not doing that as much in the past, said it’s hard for him, but that he’d try as hard as he can.

He’s really a great boss. Really. He believes the department is a team, and he wants us all to be happy, and he hates corporate mentality, and doesn’t care that I’m almost 45 minutes late every day. LOL (He said so!) I told him I may not be working here if Dan gets the kind of job he wants, and he understood and said he was happy for me. God!! I’ll never get a better boss than him!

I should run along home now. TTYL

What does this mean?? Am I in trouble? Is he going to talk to me about always being late? Does he know about my internet usage? What’s going to happen?? :O I’m scaread! I have to wait for ten more minutes before I find out what he wants…aaaaaughh! Breathe, Meia, breathe!! :wail:

Geez…I hate it, oh, and I am SO PISSED OFF AT MARY KAY!! >:[ I went to go finish my order during lunch and you know what?? It’s “end of season” or something, so I can’t order online anymore until, like, I don’t know how long it takes. At least a week, maybe too. I feel so bad…I’m sorry Jenna! She’s been waiting for her foundation, and her gramma has been waiting for her freshener…and other people have been waiting for stuff….ahhhhhh, wah. Stupid Mary Kay! If only I could have figured it out last night I would have been able to send in the order! That’s so STUPID!! Arrrrrgh.

Anyway. Hey, why am I hungry? Oh that’s right…The Big D. LOL I’m surprised I still have any insides at all. OK sorry if I’m grossing you out…I’ll shut up now.

Music: A Sorta Fairy Tale - Tori Amos

Colors: Black, white, and red

Makeup: none

Bra: none

Underwear: Black velvet

Jewelry: the usuals plus anklet and pearl earrings

Craving: Breakfast

Breakfast: Just coffee

Shoes: red flip flops

Hair: up in black clip

Weather: 71º

Pet Peeve: Not getting enough sleep, the Mary Kay order, the stupid buttons on this dress, can’t find my lipstick

Happy Thing: I was brave enough to ask for tomorrow afternoon off and then chatted with my boss like a normal human being

Star Trek calendar pic: “Journey to Babel” - Sarek and Amanda “holding hands” and surrounded by Kirk, Spock, and McCoy in dress uniform.

Pol Nailish: That purpley Hot Topic color is starting to peel off

Toes: No change (they’re still perfect ;))

I was totally overwhelmed by 8:45 this morning! Ha!

First of all, last night I couldn’t get my Mary Kay order figured out…I finally just had to save it and leave it. I’ll come back to it later. :p But I wanted to go to bed early last night ’cause I was so tired, but ended up not because of that stupid order. So this morning I was so tired I slept through my alarm and didn’t get up until 8. (For those of you who don’t know, I’m s’posed to be at work at 8.) I was running around the house this morning and things kept happening…the button popped off my dress, I safety pinned it, I couldn’t find my sweater, the safety pin popped off my dress, I re-pinned it, I couldn’t find my lipstick, and finally I just gave up and ran out the door without breakfast. Somehow I got to work no later than usual. (8:35!)

I am proud of myself though…I plucked up the courage to ask my boss for tomorrow afternoon off so we could drive to Seattle and arrive there at a decent hour. Not that my boss is an ogre or anything…he’s actually the coolest and nicest boss I’ve ever had. When I talk about him even Dan seems impressed. His name is Sean, and I think he’s an ENTP. Definitely an NT of some sort. Pretty sure NTP. And he seems kind of extraverted, so… that’s just my guess.

Anyway, it’s just that I’m a cowardly servile person, so asking for anything at all is really difficult for me. Go me! LOL And then we talked for a while about Dan…lol…he didn’t know he was here; he thought he was still in New York. I told him I hadn’t been able to get him in the office to meet anyone yet, but that he was coming with me to the annual awards ceremony. He seems like he’s looking forward to meeting him. It will be fun. That’s going to be August 22. I shall look forward to that.

Mood: Exhausted but pretty good. More tired than anything.

Music: 2000 Light Years from Home - Rolling Stones

Imitation of Life - REM

Bra: none

Craving: sleeeeeep, goddammit! lol

Dinner: gnocchi with “pink” sauce and cheese…and half a bottle of wine. And spumoni. It was all good…

Hair: up in black clip

Weather: 92º - marrow-draining hot day. Ugh.

Pet Peeve: Hot weather…eating too much…not getting enough sleep…
…what the hell?? The light in my clock isn’t working. I can’t get over that…what the hell!

Happy Thing: Well right now I’m totally freaked out by my light not working and I can’t focus on anything else…:stares at it in horror:

OK I’m weird. Things freak me out easily though. Anything weird or out of the ordinary just automatically produces a bone-chilling terror response in me, even if it’s something really simple…like…a light not working. :rolleyes:

Exhale - Prodigy

I had so much planned for the evening! Ha! After dinner I was going to run some errands and deliver Mary Kay, and then I was going to go online and order some product. I also was in the mood to watch a movie (specifically Wedding Singer) but wasn’t sure if I had time…but after dinner I was totally unable to do anything but collapse on the bed and fall asleep. I finally dragged myself up in time to get home at a semi-decent hour…I am ordering Mary Kay as we speak, and then I’m going to crash! :looks at my freaky-weird clock again:

Mood Magnet: Lovestruck

Music: Lightning Crashes - Live

Craving: I don’t know…oh yeah I do…nevermind.

Snack: Cheddar trail mix

Weather: 104º

Pet Peeve: Well that weather sounds pretty irritating!

Happy Thing: Kelly Crank is 24 today.

Mood Magnet: Hopeful

Music: Dragula - Rob Zombie

Makeup: Foundation, cocoa chill shadow, mascara, crimson stain on lips

Craving: POTTY! But I won’t go! I won’t! LOL

Lunch: Leftover pasta from Old Chicago, some milk, and orange creme yogurt

Weather: 101º

Pet Peeve: Train

Happy Thing: You :waves: Hi!

Star Trek calendar preview: “Journey to Babel”

I was typing in a long survey I found on someone’s journal and my computer crashed! I’m so irritated! It was a really cool survey! Dammit dammit sonofabitch. Dammit dammit sonofabitch. Sonofabiiiiiiiiitch…sonofabitchsonofabiiiiiiiiiiiitch….dammitdammitdammitdammitdammit. LOL That was my Beavis impersonation.

I’m starving…want more foodies…have to pee…don’t want to pee. Don’t want to work, really…hahahaHA!

I really have to concentrate on doing Mary Kay stuff tonight. Really really. :p Dammit, I never should have done that. Well I dunno. Wah. I love makeup but I hate RESPONSIBILITY. I believe I can do a good job at it someday but right now I’m just floundering. Becuase all of my emotional energy is going inward toward self healing and that’s all I can do right now. Bleh. But I know I’m doing a good job at that, so.