STAR CHART

I really need to clean the kitchen, and should probably do a load of laundry. Today I want to get the oil changed on my car. It’s needed it for months…at least.

So I practiced for the first time today…it was right before I left for work, so I didn’t have a lot of time. I just took a moment to hold some crystals and center myself…I always get really strong vibrations off crystals, it’s wonderful. It’s almost like touching an electric fence…except it feels good. LOL Anyway, I stood there breathing deeply and looking out the window at the beautiful weather, holding my crystals, and then I closed my eyes and imagined white light/energy from the earth flowing up through my spine and off the top of my head. It made me feel really full inside. Then I went and looked at pictures of Jenna I’d put over my altar and concentrated on sending her feelings of love, warmth, and peace. When I was done I closed my hands over my solar plexus and then crossed my arms across my chest, to seal the energy within myself.

Well this all reminds me of Pink Floyd.

You run and you run to catch up with the sun
But it’s sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you’re older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

That’s kinda how I feel. I just want to lie in bed and sleep for a day and not end up being one day behind. And I don’t want to go to bed. Because I don’t want to face another day. Blah.

I never did get Jenna’s picture scanned. Dan was never at his computer when I remembered to ask him about the scanner.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Time to throw down the gauntlet. Or, if you can’t find a gauntlet, a ski mitten will do. Just make sure you throw it down. (That’s one hell of a lot more fun than throwing it up.)

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, is the rule for now. In fact, “nothing” will play a very large part in your future.

Someday we’re going to look back at these couple of years and wonder how the hell we did it. Major changes in our religious beliefs, we got married, we lost our community, our families, 99% of our friends, he moved 2,000 miles to be near me, I moved in with him, he lost his job, I started a new job…what a crazy ass life this is. Sheesh! But at least now it’s getting better instead of worse. *knock on wood*!

Maybe I should schedule a massage for myself. Ha ha.

I got off work early today; that was nice. I had a good day. I felt really comfortable at work and really … I’ve just felt connected when I’ve been around people lately. It’s wonderful. I love it. : )

I couldn’t get Dan’s scanner to work, so I won’t be able to post my original choice -yet.

…doh. I don’t have any pictures of Jenna on this computer. That sucks. I’ll have to post them later when we get the scanner figured out…sometime tonight.

I had the hardest time going to bed last night, and I wanted to sleep forever today. I feel generally depressed. I think seeing my mom yesterday threw me for a loop. I miss my dad really bad now…I had a weird dream that he was dropping me off at school - college, actually (?!) - and I got out of the car and found that my legs couldn’t hold me up. I fell back against the car and leaned there, wondering why I couldn’t get my legs to work. My dad was yelling out at me if I was OK, and I was dying of humiliation because I didn’t want him to think there was anything wrong with me or to worry about me or anything. I said I was fine and tried to walk, and fell down in the grass. …I don’t really remember anything else. I really felt like cutting myself last night. That’s why I stayed up so late drugging myself on the computer…if I had gone to bed before I was totally and completely exhausted and spent, I would have had to lie there with the feelings.