STAR CHART

At work:

A lady on a cell phone: “I was with four teenagers who could have saved me if I was drowning. But I had to wait for my dad who couldn’t swim.”

Punk 1: It’s kind of neat though.
Punk 2: What is?
Punk 1: It’s a bible placed in metal.
Punk 3: Isn’t that kind of blasphemous?

Guy: That’s not love, that’s getting drunk and waking up naked in a barn.

Girl: Do you have the Communist Manifesto?
Me: Yes, it’s right over here…
Girl: I need the one written by Carol Marx.

Lady: Do you have the Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack?
Music associate: Yeah, we have lots of copies. It should be over in soundtracks…
Lady: Oh, I already looked over there, under F.

Young woman (to her boyfriend): How do you spell electric?

A woman with a little girl is talking on a cell phone. After she hangs up, the little girl wants to know who she was talking to.
Mommy: That was Gramma. We can’t go over there right now because Grampa’s getting his hair cut.
Little girl: Why?
Mommy: For some strange reason, they think his hair’s too long! Isn’t that funny?
Little girl: Yeah!
Mommy: So they’re going to cut it.
Little girl: I have long hair, don’t I?
Mommy: Yes, you do.
Little girl: You have long hair, don’t you?
Mommy: Yes, I do.
Little girl: And Daddy’s bald, isn’t he?
Mommy: Yes, that’s right, honey, Daddy’s bald.

Lastly, we have a book by Josephus. Our computer has it listed under the auther Joseph Us.

And overheard at home ;):